While being in close physical proximity to someone you’re dating is pretty ideal, you can still experience love and sexual satisfaction without being side by side every single day. Couples in long distance relationships know this to be true. As much as you’d like to be in the same bed every night, commitments, careers, and life in general sometimes pull the both of you in different directions. It doesn’t mean you’re any less serious about each other, though — or any less attracted to each other. It just means that when it comes to sex, people in long distance relationships have to get a bit more creative.
In the U.S. alone, it’s estimated that there are currently seven million couples who consider themselves to be in long distance relationships. At least 3.75 million marriages are between two people who live in different places. One out of every 10 newlywed couples have experienced a long distance romance at some point in their early marriage, and staggeringly enough, 75 percent of all engaged couples have played the long distance game at some point. If your partner lives in some faraway land, you can sleep well tonight knowing that you’re not alone in your misery.
One of the things that, quite frankly, sucks most about living in a different city than your sweetheart is the fact that you simply can’t your hands on one another as often as you’d like. Still, that doesn’t mean the fire has to die out. There are plenty of ways to get down and dirty, regardless of how far away you might be.
Here are eight sex tips for long distance relationships.
1. Create Sexy Email Accounts
First of all, you know to never use your work email for anything related to your sex life, right? OK, glad we got that out of the way. Although you do have your personal email to use for whatever you wish, consider instead opening up a brand new email account using a super sexy alias that you only use for long distance foreplay. Encourage your partner to do the same. It makes for a new, exciting way to communicate with each other, without having to worry about anyone at work accidentally seeing something over your shoulder.
Besides, acting under an alias strangely gives you more confidence to say pretty much anything, since there are less inhibitions soaring through your mind. You might even feel safer to send naughty pictures to each other this way, knowing that you won’t accidentally send it to someone in your address book who definitely hasn’t earned the right to see you in your lace undies.
2. Surprise Each Other With Dirty Gifts
Hopefully you’ve already been sending each other goodies while you’re apart to keep the romance alive, but you could up the ante by spontaneously sending a few seriously sexy gifts to one another. Do some online shopping and see if there are any sex toys, X-rated comic books, or DVDs your partner might enjoy on their own. Have it gift wrapped and sent to their house, with a little note attached that encourages them to think of you whenever they’re playing around all alone.
Even better, if you’re short on cash, just mail your sweetheart a pair of your favorite panties. Spritz it with your signature perfume (or if you’re really dirty, wear them and send them as is), sprinkle some flower petals on it, and let your SO’s imagination do the rest. You don’t have to spend tons of money to let them know you’re thinking about them. Plus, the element of surprise adds an extra dimension of sexy that heats everything up even more, ensuring your next reunion will be a busy one.
3. Set The Mood For Phone & Video Sex
With the latest technological advances, there’s no way you and your SO aren’t engaging in some kind of phone or video sex while you’re apart. But you both lead busy lives, so there may be times when you start a session a bit unprepared. The lights may still be on in your room, your email is still open on your computer, and your mind is still slightly preoccupied with that deadline you were just working on. You two still reach a happy ending, but the lack of preparation might mean you’re missing out on some truly mind-blowing long distance whoopee.
Set the mood for yourself and your partner before you kick off phone sex. Decide on a time when you’re both free from any distractions and then get ready for it. Dim the lights, light a few candles, and maybe even draw yourself a bath to ease into when the time comes. You’ll feel much more comfortable dishing out the dirty talk than you would if you were wandering around your kitchen trying to finish your dinner. Finally, charge your electronics so you don’t get cut off just before you arrive at orgasm central.
4. Tell Each Other Erotic Stories
If you’ve never been into erotic narratives before, this is the best time to get your hands dirty, because a little sexy storytelling can go a long way when you’re apart. Tap into your wildest imaginations to get the fire going, and keep in mind that there are all kinds of ways you can trade sexy stories. You can recite them to each other on the phone or a video call. You could even start by writing one chapter of a story, then pass it on to your partner to complete the next, until the whole story is complete.
We’re so used to relying on senses like touch and smell to get turned on, but don’t underestimate the value of listening to or reading something arousing. You can get just as stimulated by picturing certain steamy scenarios in your head as you would if your SO were there to personally rip your clothes. The great thing about sexy story time is that it gives you a little more room to experiment with your own fantasies without feeling embarrassed. Writing out your most enticing thoughts without anyone around you can actually be a valuable exercise for your own sexuality.
Have no idea where to start? No worries. Read through some erotic fiction on your own and get a sense of what turns you on and what doesn’t. Send some required reading to your partner, too.
5. Get Creative With Your Sexting
The bedroom and bathroom are wonderful places to strip down and snap a few racy pics — just don’t let those be the only places you get your nudies from. You and your partner love variety in the bedroom when you’re together, so you could both benefit from mixing it up with your sexting game. Find new and improved ways to show off your body, whether it’s in your own kitchen or at the end of a hike outside when there’s nobody around. Think about all the different ways your SO is turned on by you when you’re next to one another, and try to apply that to how you take pictures of yourself.
Remember that being completely naked isn’t always the most seductive move. Experiment with different ways to reveal yourself to your partner. Put on half your clothes and expose one small part of your body you know will get them excited. Be creative as you can and send your favorite shots. There’s no way they won’t love every second of it. And, of course, you can always use your words.
See more seductive moves you can do to seduce your partner.
6. Engage In Some Digital Role-Playing
Try this: Call up your SO out of the blue and tell them they’re being punished for misbehaving in history class earlier that day. Instruct them to sign in for detention at a certain time, and to sign onto a private chat room you’ve arranged wearing nothing but his school uniform blazer. Sure, it’s a bit corny, but don’t doubt for a second that it won’t get the job done. The more playful you are in your role playing, the more you can play with each other’s fantasies and build each other’s trust over time.
7. Send Each Other Sexy Playlists
Music can amp up the mood in the bedroom on pretty much any occasion, so you might as well employ this tactic when you’re sexing it up from afar. Gather your favorite songs or albums that really put you in the mood and share them with your SO. Ask them to do the same, too. You can play them in the background when you’re flying solo or when you’re making home videos for one another. It’s not a bad way to feel like they’re right there in the room with you the next time you’re getting off together on the phone.
8. Don’t Forget About Snail Mail
Time to get out your stationary. Emails, texts, and phone calls all pack a sexy punch, but there’s something wildly intimate about handwriting a letter to your SO about what you’d like to do to them the next time you see each other. This is actually the perfect way to start your erotic storytelling as well —your partner won’t even know what hit them. Write your sexiest fantasies out on paper, and maybe even draw some pictures to go along with it. Not only is it a fresh way to rev up the passion, it’s a thoughtful way to show your partner that you really care.